When I decided to write again, I was excited. Up till that point, I actually enjoyed writing, but when I decided to write and post roughly twice a month, writing changed. It turned from this fun way to express how I see the world into an assignment I had to complete by a deadline.
Lately, I have just been over it. I haven't felt like writing. I do it, but I don't really want to. Why did something I enjoyed now become a burden to my psyche? I realized this didn't just happen with writing. It happens with everything. Repeating things made them less interesting. Without an inspiring challenge or spontaneous act of randomness, things get boring.
Psychologically, we are primed to desire new. We literally get a natural high when we experience newness through dopamine. Our ability to adapt our emotional baseline makes aspirational lifestyles, milestones, and material possessions a temporary fix for our addiction to joy. Still, no matter how hard we try to stay in a state of perpetual happiness, we crash to bleak normalcy that just is not enough. I sometimes think human boredom is a Buddhist joke as our ego's insatiable appetite for newness is a form of hedonic suffering. Like a junkie, our addiction to joy will lead to suffering as the body seeks homeostasis. One of life's great ironies.
As someone that gets bored very easily, I often wonder why can't I experience more genuine gratitude for all I had and remain in that state longer. I without a doubt have an incredible life, but even if it was everything I had ever asked for, it too becomes dull. Why did things have to become uninteresting or a mental burden? What changed in my mindset that leads to this shift in perspective? What was the balance between novelty and habit that created a state of gratitude and internal peace?
When I personally get in mental ruts, when I am not sure what to do, when I feel lost and uninspired, I think there are two ways to look at this. You can see the world for what it is, where none of this matters. Nothing I do in my life will matter in the grand scheme of time. Your attachment to anything in this world is what makes you feel this way and if you let go of it all, you will no longer feel internal turmoil. Unfortunately, that lifestyle is not for everyone. Frankly, I am not ready to let go of everything, so we move onto option two. Even though, yes I will achieve things and they will become dull, I would rather experience them and feel the rollercoaster of human emotion than live without it.
Life is to be experienced. Boredom is a human feeling, so experience it fully when it arrives. Understand how it manifests itself. Use boredom to learn about yourself. It can show you your passions and where you should focus your energy. Boredom forces you to grow and experiment. Maybe you shouldn't be so hard on yourself for not being productive. Boredom is a reminder that life needs inspiration. Boredom means it is time for an adventure, so seek life out. Maybe in the midst of it all, ahh, an idea will be born.
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